None of us likes to think about death, especially when it comes to our own. But one of the most helpful things we can do for those we leave behind, especially a family member who’s handling our final affairs, is drafting our own obit.
It doesn’t have to be a novel, folks – a warm remembrance hitting the highlights of our time here will do. It’s also not a memoir, and it doesn’t mean we were more loved if our death notice is longer than that of others.
What people remember and honor about us is not our material accomplishments but rather what kind of person we were, the love and friendship we shared, the memories we created with them and the way we made them feel.
We need not dwell on our earlier years when we were too stupid to realize these things. We can now focus on the people we’ve become, hopefully after a long life of growth.
Our grieving family members or friends don’t need to be digging for details on things that happened decades ago. While we’re here, we can at least jot down a list some of the most important things we’d like to be covered and choose a decent, updated headshot to go along.
It’s amazing how many submissions we get where heads have been awkwardly cropped out of group photos or are pictures of people who passed away in their 90s and their pic is so outdated they’re unrecognizable.
I always write with the philosophy that less is more. Volumes can be said without listing the name of every relative or job you had. It’s enough to say 10 grandchildren and five great grandchildren.
Focus instead on your life’s passions, like working with children, singing in your church choir, cooking Chinese food, water skiing or cats. Painting a picture with such words will make your obit more memorable and interesting.
At least that’s how I hope people will remember me.
Lois Kindle is a freelance writer and columnist for The Observer News. Contact her at lekindle@aol.com/.
